Another guest blogger! Due to some recent exposure, I’m experiencing an influx of communication from the hooping community. I didn’t know this was gonna turn into work. Damn!
Dear Hoop Friend,
I’ve been thinking about this a lot today. A while back during what he calls a “nervous breakdown” my boyfriend called my hooping “obnoxious” and even went so far to say a few things about my body type and lord knows what else. With effort, I’ve almost managed to forget it.
I had a hard time putting my finger on what that other girl said to you in the emails that you copied and sent to me, that made me so mad. All I could come up with at that point was “disgusting” and “mean” and I was just simply shocked because I have seen hints, but never such a blatant side of this issue. Because, well, this person is considered a shining light in the hooping community. How could she say those things to YOU, a gal might be young enough to be her daughter. Some mama.
Now I’m beginning to see why it affects me so. Its bringing me back to those days when he said those things. He undermined my confidence, he changed things forever for me. I’m two years out from when that horrible night and fight happened. But that first year I couldn’t hoop without thinking of those words. And I pretended and fought and clawed the way to the top of that abyss. He poisoned hooping for me, at least, for a while.. and in a small way, forever. And I don’t want that to happen to you.
From “stopbullying.gov” for the definition of bullying:
“Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships.
“Social bullying includes:
Leaving someone out on purpose
Telling other children not to be friends with someone
Spreading rumors about someone
Embarrassing someone in public”
“Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”
I’m pretty sure that the undermining of your confidence and telling you “Other hoopers ask me why you are the way that you are.” and “I have to answer for how awkward you are and how you don’t fit into MY hoop group.” falls under more definitions that I’m not feeling like looking up right now. Especially if this criticism coming from a person you thought of as a mentor, partner, friend and teacher.
So now its your job, you’ve got the hardest one of all, and that is to open that steel trap that the female mind can be, and forget it, let it go, and move forward. Suck it up bitch. And call me sometime.
Love,
Your Imperfect Friend
The Bitchy Hooper 